"On Protein"
• Hypothesis: protein has a directly positive correlation with MASSIVE GAINS
○ Independent Variable: Protein intake (grams)
○ Dependent Variable: Raw power (gigajoules)
○ Control Group: Elder Kemp (already buff)
• Experimental Process:
1) Consume PROTEIN
Sandwich:
~ 2 slices Dave's Killer Bread - 10g PROTEIN
~ 2 slices muenster cheese - 10g PROTEIN
~ serving and a half of pastrami - 10g PROTEIN
~ honey Dijon mustard - no protein :(
Greek Yogurt - 15g PROTEIN
PROTEIN shake (bonus points because it tastes bad) - 30g PROTEIN
= 75 grams of PURE PROTEIN in one sack lunch
2) Utilize PROTEIN
- get miniscule amounts of exercise
3) Observe MASSIVE GAINS
- literally no change whatsoever
• Analysis:
Maybe I'm the control group.
Results Inconclusive
~
Well, we rode bikes the last two transfers, play ultimate frisbee on pday, and do calisthenics most mornings, so I get decent exercise. Nevertheless, while my lunch doesn't look like that every day, working out enough to utilize the sheer amount of galactic mcshizzle I put in my body consistently remains an epic struggle.
Hey all!
Boy, I'm sending these out later and later every time. Ah, we all have weaknesses. I figured I'd just send this out with the next week's email to be more in-line with the missionary standards, so thanks for being patient with me.
I want to write these charming, polished emails every week with paragraph upon paragraph of fun stories chronicling the exploits of a missionary to a bounteous land of hicks, Islanders, and American supermarket corporations, but some weeks the time just goes flying by. Still, I'll always try to give them at least a little sparkle.
NEWS:
- Lucas and Iris are on date to be baptized by their dad, John, on December 2nd! The Juarez-Andriano family has been progressing steadily since they all came to church a few weeks ago and while John and Selene aren't married yet, that's pretty much the only big thing we know of that stands between Selene and baptism.
- J has been tricky, B has been tricky, J is no longer on date for baptism, and the Ns have gone AWOL...there's been a lot of opposition to our friends' progression towards making promises with the Savior lately. However, the finding grind never stops, so we're working on finding more friends who are ready and excited to draw nearer to Jesus Christ.
- Despite the opposition the last two weeks, the Bentonville Zone has smashed like four different finding records and its performance is at an all-time high. I won't post specific numbers, but I'll just say we're cooking with gas. Historically, this zone's been kind of a graveyard for missionary work, so we're kind of going through a Bentonville Renaissance right now and it's awesome to be here for it.
- TRANSFERS: third transfer down! This time around, I'll be staying in Bentonville with Elder Kemp for another six weeks and learning the ropes of District Leader. Elder Waite (Jim Carey) told me it'll only take a couple of weeks to get used to, but man, I think I've been spending a couple of weeks getting to something for the entirety of my mission. Wish us luck during potentially my last transfer here in the Bentonville First Ward!
- THE END OF THE CAR SHARE: I was really looking forward to watching Elder Kemp start riding the skinny little 39-year-old Japanese bicycle we just picked up from a member's home, but it turns out we've gotten a new car for ourselves this transfer! When I say 'new,' I mean "'23 Chevy Equinox with 13 miles on the odometer" 'new.' We have just third of the allotted miles that we had in the car share, but hey, it beats biking in the snow for sure.
STORYTIME:
- Last week, we struck up a conversation with a nice lady named Gwena who works at the built-in coffeeshop in the Bentonville Public Library after she shuffled a ton of songs by one of my favorite bands, Crumb. Side note: if you've ever wondered what jazz sounds like underwater, listen to Crumb. They're good. Anyways, it turns out that Gwena had heard from two different sets of missionaries before in her old town and wanted us to come over and teach her sometime now too. Unfortunately, she lives 45 minutes out of our teaching area and while, fortunately, she's getting married soon, that means we probably won't be able to talk much with her while she's off honeymooning in Europe for the holidays. Lucky dog. We'll set something up with her eventually.
Moral of the story: sometimes God uses library coffeeshop background music to lead you to friends ready to be taught. Also, Crumb is cool.
PEOPLE:
- Brother Fleming: a member of the Bentonville First Ward bishopric who strongly reminds me of my uncle, Chris Rigby. If you know Uncle Chris, you know Brother Fleming. Bona fide cool dude.
- Elder Perry: the new kid on the block. A super chill football guy from Snowflake, AZ who's being trained by Elder Gubler this transfer. Shares his birthday with my sister Hazel on March 28th. Think Bob Ross in a lineman's body and you've got a pretty good idea.
- Elder Benson: well, he'll just be Garrett pretty soon here. I wrote about him about a month ago, but Elder Benson has been one of my biggest role models during my time in the field so far. He finished his mission and flew home this week and his send-off was bittersweet. I'm gonna miss him.
THOUGHT: Helaman 3:35.
Of the few humble disciples in a church running rampant with pride:
"Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."
Sanctification comes from "yielding our hearts unto God." The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the means whereby our natures may be fundamentally changed to draw nearer to the true character of Christ. In order to fully benefit from this opportunity, we must set down "even our favorite sins" and just roll with it. Missionary life is all about being flexible. Just about every aspect of us missionaries gets bent and molded by the Lord, but it's also important to remember that the only one who will ever try to break down our standards is the Devil. He wants to deceive, distract, and discourage you. However, if we yield our hearts to the Lord, He will lead us by the hand and take us where we need to go. As that happens, I promise that we will be happier.
SONGS OF THE WEEK: "Golden" by My Morning Jacket and "Bones" by Crumb
That's all for now! Let's see if I can actually send my email at a reasonable time next week. Later!
- Elder Rigby
